Yesterday evening I booked my ONE WAY flight to Ontario where I will start the first leg of my RTW trip. I will spend some time in the town I grew up in (Thunder Bay) visiting with my parents, one of my dearest and closest friends and extended family and friends. It is a great start to this amazing time I have ahead of me. I think it has taken me all of this 24 hour period to have it sink in that I am doing this. I imagined that when I gave my notice at work it would all start changing. Ends up it is the booking of the flight plus a day that has my heart soaring a bit higher and my imagination viewing the world as it is in my mind. As the day has progressed my soul has been lifting. I have thought much of my other best friends right here in Greater Vancouver. Of my sister and how a part of this trip will be with her. And then to the amount of things I need to do (gulp!). Stress that I have not even saved nearly the amount of money I had hoped to. Excitement that I will go anyway. As my friend Suzy B once said (along these lines) that you can not wait until you have enough money to live life because you never will so do it anyway and be grateful for what you have and can do. She told me that years and years ago. It has stuck with me ever since. I also see that now I am going to be selfish. I am focusing primarily on myself and this trip. I am by nature, job and choice a caretaker (even my personality type on the Myers-Briggs test is a “caregiver” ESFJ). Of course I am selfish now and again (probably more in the thoughts of my friends – LOL) but now I am truly going to focus on this trip, ask opinions, change my mind of where to go a million times and talk non-stop. The excitement is starting to sink in! Be warned my good friends, be warned. 😛
Well, I did it. I made a declaration that puts my RTW trip moving forward. Yesterday I gave my notice at work. Yes, it is 2.5 months away, however, with my job as an RMT (Registered Massage Therapist) I need to give 2 months so that they can find a suitable replacement for me. So that is set and all the rest needs to come together. I trust that it will. I am so happy while still in a small state of disbelief. That will change I’m sure. Let’s get things going! YAY!!!
Photo credit: Pinterest
Thirty-two days ago I posted that I was starting 100 Days of Gratitude. I wrote that my first day on this challenge was a “bad day” in which I did not have a warm and fuzzy feeling. It took some reflection for me to take a lesson from that first day. I believe I have made some further progress. Although I have not had that joyous feeling of being on cloud nine everyday I have noticed that when I am tired, disappointed, appalled, angry, bored, etc that I think “something good has to be here somewhere”. It does not happen immediately, though it does make its way to my head. I am nowhere near bursting out in song to celebrate the many good things in my life, however, I am more AWARE. To me that is what is the root of being thankful. I can remind myself that I have it really well. My life, as all lives, has ups and downs, good times and bad, however I am seeing more and more how well I have it. And I am on my way to living my heart’s dream – to travel around the world. With all the tragedy and pain in this world, locally and globally it is easy to lose sight of so much. Many emotions come along it is important to hold on to the ones that can make positive changes in our lives and the world. Gratitude is one of them. It’s an important one.
Popping up on social media everywhere are gratitude challenges. I have noticed a number of my friends around the globe posting what they are grateful for in various social network outlets. I was intrigued by this as I figure that I can always be more grateful especially when things seem to run amok. I did a few Internet searches for some tips on seeing each day with thankful eyes. There are plenty out there. Ways to start your day with thanks, appreciate the little things, see the beauty in all. Sounds good to me! So I mentioned this to two of my good friends in our group iMessage thread. They were on board, adding that we tell each other at the end of the day the good things we can acknowledge in addition to letting go of negativity. So today is the first of our 100 Days of Gratitude Challenge. Pretty cool, right?
So how did my first day go? Started out okay – headed out to hot yoga with the intention of having an amazing class, after all it was my second class after taking a two month break to recover from a non-life threatening but major surgery that went exceptionally well. I was feeling great. Until….until class started. It was hard and I have lost so much endurance. I realized that I am a slow, off balance, fat yogini. I felt like crying. Got a pep talk from an instructor that yoga is not about where we were but where we are, to be in the now and realize that perhaps today’s focus was just to make it to the mat. True words, wise words – yet I still felt like crying. So I, figuratively, did – into some junk food. Felt like crying even more. Talked to my mom who had a health scare. Yay! She is going to be okay. A sigh of relief. So much relief that I felt tired after our conversation. I think I was poor company for my coffee date with a friend who will be watching my fur baby while I am visiting my parents. A person I know I can trust and the furball likes her. And on it went – up, down, up, down, up, down. Yes I am grateful for many things but today I am also sad, tired, annoyed, etc. I was thinking I have already failed this gratitude challenge and it is only day one. Where is the joyous feeling? Where is my warm and fuzzy that I wanted. I pondered this on my bus ride home. My introspection did give me a bit of insight. Warm and fuzzy does not mean that I am not grateful. Perhaps it will come as I focus more on the good around me. I did, after all, have ups in my day. I was reminded of at least one purpose of yoga. I had relief after speaking with my mom and hearing her voice saying she was home and feeling well. I had trust in my friend who does and will take care of my treasured cat while I am away. Heck, I even had a lady pick up my yoga mat when it slid under her seat on the bus. And a gentleman held open a door for five people, including myself. So I guess the lesson for today is that although I do not feel “warm and fuzzy” I am still able to accept that everyday has something to give thanks for.
P.S. I ended my evening in hysterical laughter after my friend R sent me a funny distorted picture of her. So I downloaded an app and sent her a couple of me. We were both laughing and laughing. It made my day to laugh so ridiculously hard.